This is a rarity that I post anything so personal but I’d like to share my thoughts for a moment.
My dad is currently going through a separation after 38 years of marriage and knowing my mom for 45 years. It’s extremely hard on him trying to figure out finances and just figuring out where he stands in life right now. My dad and I are not the closest. He spent my childhood high on weed and cocaine. He is an alcoholic and has been sober for the better part of at least 8 years. When my mom left him I was very concerned he would revert and relapse and I am proud to say he hasn’t. The strength he is showing is amazing even st his weakest. I admire the will power he has shown. Big ups to my dad.
I had battled with alcoholism in my 20’s. If I am being honest I enjoy a good drink. I have smoked weed off and on my entire life. I know when enough is enough and I try and instill a little of my experiences with the people that come in my life even if for a moment. I have risk losing everything I have obtained in life thus far to help those I care about. I have learned a valuable lesson from my dad and through experience and that’s you can’t help anyone that doesn’t want help. You can spend time, money and offer all the support in the world but like my dad told me “if I wanted to stop I could have, I didn’t want to though I wanted what I wanted”. That couldn’t be more true. For those of you that have had friends that struggle with dependency issue just know there truly is nothing you can do. The choice will always remain that individuals. What you can do is offer your support (not financially) be there during the lows and praise the highs. But be prepared for the ups and downs. It’s a choice and the choice isn’t yours to make for the ones you love, it’s theirs.
To all my past,current and future friends just know you have the choice and it’s yours to make not mine. To all the young readers still in school or college I know it seems like it’s not a big deal and your young but the choices you make while your young impact every part of your future. Going back to the instilling part. Knowledge from other people’s perspectives can sometimes help you figure out the path maybe you should choose. Like I always say “you do you” but remember problems don’t go away they compile.
To everyone reading I may not know you personally but I love you. And for those reading that know me personally you know how I feel about you and if you don’t I love you!
Thanks for reading!
Courtesies are what they are courtesies
When courtesies are taken advantage of and turned to be expected that becomes an issue
How quickly one can go from courteous to expected
The irony is when courtesies turn to expectations but those same expectations that were once courtesies are not reciprocated in return.
Simplistically I say don’t expect from someone something then turn around as if the expectations should be any different from yourself.
Yes to dumb it down even further follow the golden rule!
Reflections is a must sometimes and can hurt like a “B”
I encourage anyone reading to actually self reflect and attempt to be open to the perspectives of others. Play devils advocate on yourself. Of course you will fail at being unbiased toward your own opinion but if even for a moment you can catch a glimpse of a new perspective you will have succeeded. Don’t worry everyone thinks they are right at least 90% of the time but just try and shed some light on the other 10%. Don’t change who you are but evolve who you are by opening your mind. Trust me I am still a dick but I am more self aware then I ever used to be.
I welcome you because I don’t yet know you
You’re a stranger in a world where I don’t believe in strangers
For so long I feared you
I have known life
The pain life can cause
The way people take for granted the air they breathe
All part of life
I have known life but have not feared what I know so why should I fear what I don’t know
I welcome you
I am curious what your embrace feels like
Is it cold like many believe or is warm like new life
Are you feared purely because of the unknown
We will meet one day no longer strangers and I will welcome you as I have life
If we don’t agree can I return to the living?
We will talk
Not to soon please but soon enough
Maybe your cousin sleep will have some answers
We don’t spend much time together but maybe I should ask about you
I don’t fear you anymore even though you’re welcome anytime let’s not plan on anything concrete just yet
Allowing ourselves to conform too the people around us for the sake of happiness is not happiness. Being an individual can be very lonely sometimes. The feeling of nobody around can be overwhelming and lead us back to situations that take us back to conforming for the sake of feeling happy. False happiness. We have to first learn to be alone in order to find true happiness. To find ourselves is the most important piece of advise anyone could have ever given me. To speak personally I don’t think I ever truly found myself but I found a way to be alone through art, through reading, through writing and through choosing to not conform. Don’t judge others for the short comings they feel like that have but embrace them for the individual that they are. Let them know they are not alone. Don’t be the friend that’s just around for the party but the friend that is there when the party isn’t around. See you on the journey of life. Everyone can learn something from anyone but we can’t learn about ourselves through others. Be an individual. Find yourself in the universe and make others smile.
The day fades to night with the incandescent glow of our sun giving way to pale glow of our moon
What will have become of the day
What will come of the another cool night
The dawn breaks the silence of the cold night with the once again warming of the light
A new day
The same day
I can accept failure but what I can not accept is the failure to try.
We all fail at something during our journey. These failures make up who we become and define how we move forward.
When we make the choice to give up trying at anything we choose not to move forward.
Sure there are circumstances that are futile. But damn it if there is anyway for success it will only come from trying.
Keep trying. Reinvent the wheel. All of man kind from the beginning was built on failure but most importantly all of man kind was built on the continuation of trying.
Being is never enough.
Leave well enough alone…
Why not try to improve?
So many reasons just to exist but so many more reasons to live.
Don’t just connect with people
Impact peoples lives
Allowing there to be versions of you is a misrepresentation of who you really are
Try hard to do or achieve something
An attempt to achieve a goal
-Earnest and industrious effort, especially when sustained over a period of time
Will you ever know the true results of your endeavors? I am not so sure that you will. It is my belief that we so are so fluid that there is never really an end to what we seek out to accomplish. A goal in life could be simple in thought but when pursued turns so complex that it evolves from its original idea. Good luck on your endeavors this new year. Stay fluid and evolve and don’t be discouraged by change. Embrace complexity and admire simplicity.
You were able to take the money when it benefitted you most
The time was easy to pass cause one day I’d be a ghost
You took the years that could have meant more to someone who really cared
All the while your excuse was you were scared
You broke me down in ways unknown to most
Placing blame on me to help justify your lack of remorse
Pulling strings like a puppet master knowing I’ll always be close
Reaching out like a convenience when it suits you the most
Well wishes at best but nothing from the heart
Who is the real monster when you knew everything from the start
The price we pay for loving is always a broken heart
Thank you for the lessons in 2017. I’ve learned a great deal about people and what we are capable of as individuals. I’ve learned a great deal about myself. I am ready to experience whatever may come in 2018. My goal, not resolution, is to encourage others as well as encourage myself to grow, to learn and to love. More post to come in 2018.